A Brave New World
A brave new world…
Life is funny. Day to day we have our routines. We wake up, get dressed, have our morning coffee, (or in my case, fruit blend), take the kids to school and go about our normal day to day business. Some days are more eventful than others, but for the most part we have these “patterns” that our minds use to run on autopilot.
The reason I come to this as I write is because our routines don’t often come into question. When life is “normal” we don’t usually analyze if what we’re doing is what we really want, or what’s best for us. It’s second nature. It’s our reality and most of the time; we’re not forced to make changes because it’s just… normal. That is, unless we are forced to or have some sort of monumental life changing event happen.
I had one of those.
Mine was May 9th, 2011.That was the day my wife and mother of my two children, Lynda was diagnosed with Cancer. I’ve never been so scared for my family. Emotions run through your mind so quickly, you can’t even stop to think. So many thoughts raced through my mind: “Will she survive? How does this happen? Why me?” That was the day I re-focused and remembered what life was really about.
Life is not forever, we will all die, some of us much sooner than others. It’s something we don’t always think about. Lately, it’s definitely something I’ve been thinking about, more often than I’d like to admit.
Being reminded of it gives me the ability to focus on what really matters… And focus on having the best life I possibly can, every-single-day.
My life has changed for obvious reasons. Simplicity has come into focus. I truly believe we all need a core set of values, beliefs… call it whatever you want, but we need something to stand for…
People and experiences are what matter not possessions or status.
Before I made the decision to resign, I asked a group of friends: “Why do you go to work every day?” The most common answer was “to take care of my family.”
Now, as strange as it sounds, the folks who said it with the most conviction were the ones who worked the most. And while they definitely love their family, they also aren’t the people I would consider to have the biggest bond with each other.
It’s been said a million times: “You can’t bring it with you when you die” and while it’s true, I think the other obvious question should be…
“What memories will you leave with the people you love?”
Most of us are motivated more by doing for our family than we are for ourselves.
Some people only take care of their car when it breaks down. Your mind is your real vehicle in life and the only real limitation we have is our own beliefs. Take the time to focus on what matters and figure out how to get it… Working harder isn’t always the answer.
We all have expiration dates… They’re just not stamped on the outside of us like a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk…
Live the life you want, not the one you think you have to.
We will get through this; my wife is a strong woman and incredible mother. She has a hell of a road in front her. We are fortunate to be able to put things in perspective; I’ve had my “life changing moment”. Obviously I wish it didn’t happen the way it did, but I’m definitely happy to have this opportunity to enjoy what life is really about and analyze how I really spend my time.
I was forced to turn off the auto-pilot of my life and center myself on the things that really mattered in my life. I began to focus on the little things again. The “pebbles” in life that once fascinated us as toddlers, but now as adults, we don’t even notice. If I was asked to share with you a bit of the positive that’s come out of this life changing event in my family’s life, I think these are probably the simplest, yet most impactful things I’ve done to change my day to day zombie mode:
- Reconnect with old friends
I’ve spoken to three people just this week that I haven’t talked to in almost a year. It was amazing how great I felt after I hung up. I even wondered “Why did I wait so long to call?” and then “If there was one thing I could to help them, what would it be?”
2. Not letting the Blackberry dictate your life 24/7
This is a tough one to overcome, especially if you’re a blackberry addict, however incredibly liberating and believe it or not, once you kick the habit you’ll actually be much more productive. Ask yourself how many times you’ve been in the middle of doing something meaningful and you stopped what you were doing to read an email and respond to it; a response that most likely could have waited. Technology was intended to make our lives simpler, yet most people have become a slave to it. If you’re someone who reaches for their phone every time it goes off… realize that you’re operating in “reactive” mode.
3. Analyze your “24”
This one was a big one for me. There is one thing in this world that we all have an equal amount of, no matter how rich or how poor we are. Take 10 minutes today away from all distractions and write these down:
- How many hours a day do you work?
- How many hours are you away from home (at the gym, shopping, etc)
- How much TV do you watch?
- How much do you sleep?
- How much uninterrupted time do you spend with your loved ones?
Now ask yourself “Are you happy with your numbers?” If the answer is “NO” don’t feel alone, but remember no matter what your situation is, you can take the steps needed to change it. If I’ve learned one thing in the last 2 and ½ years, it’s that you don’t need to work 60 hours a week to have everything you want and to provide for your family… The world is a much different place than it was 30 years ago.
Work smart not hard. There are so many things in this world we can’t control, so don’t let them stress you out. What we can control is our own “24.” What changes can you make to yours?
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Comments (30)
peter cleghorn
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Hello Corey: Best to you and your family. I have no advice.
Just best wishes to you, your wife and kids.
Peter Cleghorn
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Dean Freihaut
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Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family at this time. We all have to take the time to reflect on what is really important in our lives and take the time out to smell the roses. Many times myself I’ve had to sit back and listen to my kids and just enjoy life and realize what really matters.
Most recently I’ve had someone close to me go through the same thing and today she’s skiing and golfing and enjoying life again.You were a great student advocate and will be miss by all. Stay positive and we will keep praying for you and your family.
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Don Jordan
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I was thinking about you the other day maybe my psychic antenna was up. You remind me of Ty Burrell the polish sportscaster on Back to You who had a natural comedic rhythmn to him. You had a great jumpstart with Sal we all need mentors to clarify method of success towards goals. Business wise you should do fine. I drank Apple Cider Vinegar yesterday morning and my blood pressure went from 177/121 to 77/55 today. So natural things like Ceylon Cinnamon and the above can provide help just drink with grape juice to mask the strong taste. Pray every day and things should get better and we’ll go to the Comedy Club at the Tropicana sometime when this setback in life is conquered. With much caring, Don
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Hurol
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Corey, you’re a GREAT man.
I didn’t know what to expect once the email was opened. There were many concerns running through my mind, and it wasn’t hard to realize why I felt that way.
It’s an honor to be associated with The Dandrew
teamfamily and you have been an integral reason for that. Your values, integrity and character have traveled a united course; I’ve admired you for that and I’m confident that they will continue to make you the great husband, father, man, person…..etc. you are this day.My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. May you be granted all of the strength needed to get through this.
All the best Corey,
Hurol Samuel
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Byron
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Hey Corey,
Thank you for taking the time to remind us what REALLY matters in life. I know you’ve worked really hard to make life a little easier for us working with Dandrew and navigating the ropes of “real estate the Wall Street Way.” Now that focus can go to your family in new and powerful ways. The positive impact and benefits on others of your blogging, and reflection, will remain mostly unknown to you. Please give my best wishes and support to Lynda, and know that your family is in my thoughts.
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AJ Palmgren
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Corey,
I just want to tell you that you and your family are most certainly in my prayers. I have so much respect for the way you are responding to this challenge.
While I do not have a family of my own, I am no stranger to this type of difficult life change. My heart goes out to you, your wife and your kids.
I am truly inspired by the message that you are giving as a response to this situation, and I am humbled by your decisions and priorities.
Keep being strong, my friend…I hope to see you soon.
-AJ
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Rita Boswell
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Corey,
Thank you for being open and sharing your heartfelt emotions and experience with us. I know this blog will be and is therapeutic for you and will also help us as we read about your continued experiences, as you will teach us in a very different and more profound way than you did before.
Life sometimes throws us unexpected curve balls and they are to teach us lessons. Take care of you, cry when you need to cry but don’t ever give up and keep those positive thoughts contiually in your mind, you will then be able to completely be there for Lynda and your beautiful children. It’s apparent that you and Lynda have a lot of strength and I believe you will both get through this with a whole new more beautiful outlook on life.
You have many caring friends.
God bless you both, my heart is with you.
Rita
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Captain Canada
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Corey,
I read the news this morning and thought about what you & Sal wrote most of the day. As I sit down here now to write something comforting, inspiring or helpful, the best I have come with is Thank You. Thanks for being our student advocate. Thanks for giving so much of yourself to help us. Thanks for the “handle”. I’ll wear it proud!
We will be praying for Lynda, for you and your kids.
We were looking forward to seeing you on the next trip to Vegas.
Stop in if you have a moment.
Look me up if you are in T.O.
Michael Contini
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Michael Escobedo
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I can understand what you must be going through. I witnessed my wife have a stroke, waiting with her in emergency, going through rehab therapy, brain tumor removal surgery, tremors and all that changes within the household. I too, took time off from work. And you know, it brought us closer together and our bond, as it is with your wife, can never be doubted. We are men of substance and loving ideals. My wife and I will pray for your wife, your children and for you Cory. Keep in touch through your blog and it’ll all get better. Keep the faith brother!!
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Chris P
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Corey,
You have moved up from great student advocate to an inspiration. Thanks for sharing so freely and bluntly. I will be praying for your family.
Psalm 46:1 states that:”God is our refuge, a very present help in trouble.” It is amazing and great how many people are able and willing to share information and advice with you. I hope and trust that you and your wife will be victorious over this disease. Like you said, she is a fighter and with your 2 lovely kids that’s a whole lot to fight for. I will be fighting with you in prayer. That’s a promise.
Chris P
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Carolyn
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Corey,
What you have accomplished professionally in a short time is very admirable. It can always be repeated in the future.
You have your priorities right! Although we will all miss you, your family is the most important thing now. I wish the best for you and your family.
Carolyn
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Jack DeWeese
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Corey, I am trully sad to learn about your wife’s illness. People will express their best wishes, etc., etc. All this is good and I am not critizing it at all. The only point I am making is that until someone goes through this themselves, they do not know, they can only feel.
I lost my wife of almost 38 years to cancer so I understand how bewildered you are. Fortunately, or possibly not, our children were grown so I did not have the concern about raising them. With your children being so young, this could be good for you because it will give you a focus for each day rather than sitting around in a funk wondering why.
The overwhelming feeling I had at the time was complete, utter helplessness. There was nothing that I would not have done to help my wife, yet there was nothing I could do. The only thing anyone can do is give them complete support and love. Your taking care of your children will help her to concentrate on her battle, not worrying about her children.
I believe your blog will be a blessing to you. When my wife was sick, I would come home from the hospital at night and sit down at the computer and empty my soul into emails I sent to family and friends (I did not know if blogs even existed in 1999). I found it very easy to put into the computer things that I normally would not have discussed with people in person. We men have to keep up the “strong” image.
Like you I believe the simple things are the best. The only things that truely matter are your love for your family and friends. It doen’t matter how high the pile of money and other things are, they are all “small stuff” and you never sweat the small stuff.
Keep strong and know that the best thing you can do to help your wife is to let her know that she has your complete love and support. Whatever the final outcome you have shown that you are strong enough to get through for you and your children.
Again, I wish you and your wife the very best.
Jack
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Dana Lando
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Corey,
Nicely put Corey. Sounds like your wife, your family and friend network is strong and you have your priorities in order. I’m fast running out of fingers to count family and friends engaged in this battle. As others have suggested here on your blog, if you’ve not already done it, turn your quest for knowledge towards the research and really do your due diligence. There are great natural meds and foods that work well even if you chose to pursue mainstream medical treatments, so don’t rule them out. Crazy, but the “Juice Guy” referenced above is really legit. It’s a tough regiment…lots to drink! But it does cure cancers. Cur-cumin is now also the super star of treating breast cancer because it has amazing anti-inflammatory properties and an ability to penetrate cells. http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/02/14/beating-breast-cancer-a-guide-to-prevention-treatment-and-recovery.aspx
Keep your wife away from the drink ‘Ensure’…the docs and hospitals love to push it for weight maintenance and “nutrition”, but it’s pure cancer food. Read the ingredients! It’s criminal that they push it on cancer patients. Cancer loves Ensure. Go to Amazon and order up some Orgain. Have it on hand for times when it’s hard or undesirable to eat. The chocolate is delicious! The ingredients list makes you think it will be awful, but REALLY, it’s great tasting. Much better than any protein drink you’ve ever had too! Developed by a doc to help fight his own cancer battle, made with veggies and things cancer doesn’t like.
Our family’s thoughts and prayers are with yours!
Dana, Doug & Claire Lando
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Gregory Brown
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Corey- I have truly enjoyed your sense of humor and dedication to your work , I know that only comes from having strong work ethics and a good role model. Take care of the ones who love you and keep them close, you have a beautiful family so cherish what is important and I will always remember your classes (I didn’t know Sal had a sense of humor till tyou showed up:}
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Picha T.
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Hi Corey,
God will bless you and your family and with all my heart go Lynda.
God Bless You,
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gin ivy
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Hi Corey,
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. May God Be With You, Lynda and the rest of your family as you fight this horrible disease. May you win the victory. Thank you for the education and dedication in helping us.
Love,
Gin Ivy
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Robert Sedlar
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Dear Corey,
I want you to have this information.
I do a lot of research for healing of my own hurt & ill children,…so I don’t write this to you lightly. This is about you and not me, so I won’t bother elaborating here.
I am including two links for you to go to and conduct research. Due diligence is the key to success, as you know. Trust no one’s opinion except your own, Corey!!
The first link is to the, “Shen Clinic.” Look for the “Dr. Tullio Simoncini” videos. They are also on YouTube. Dr. Simoncini has identified cancer as “Candida Fungus,” and has totally cured cancer using “Intravenous Sodium Bicarbonate,”…(baking soda)!! Don’t scoff. Complete your best due diligence, Corey.
http://www.theshenclinic.com/en/media
The 2nd link is to introduce you to the Russian SCENAR frequency healing device, originally engineered to go to out-space with their cosmonauts. It boasts nearly 90% success across the board.
http://ebodyfusion.com/russian-scenar-clinical-results-details-on-18255-people/
These modalities offer real success and a normal life. Conduct your own due diligence and make your best decision, my friend,…for your wife and children’s sake. Don’t merely accept what your are being told by your doctor or surgeon.
Finally,…Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy and EFA (Essential Fatty Acids, by Dr. Warburg). Oxygenation of the body is improved by 300%.
With a heavy prayer for you to listen and accept the possibilities of real hope. Best regards,
Robert Sedlar*
(800) 200-7126
(619) 787-7126
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Pearl
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Corey,
Wish I knew what the right comforting thing to say is. Just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, Lynda and the children.
With lots of love from the bottom of my heart..
Pearl
Pearl
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Todd
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My heart and prayers go out to your wife and your entire family.
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Bradlee
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Beautifully put. Your decision to resign will be blessed. Certainly your successes of the last 2+ years have been divinely guided to put you in the position where you can take this time to focus on your family.
Our prayers are with you, Lynda and all your family.
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Evelyn Benders
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You are truly a wise man. With your convictions you can make it through anything. I pray that things will work out for you and your family.
On August 14, 2011 I lost a very close friend due to liver cancer. I went though a year of hospice with her-so I have some idea of what you are going through. It was a tough year but I believe, like you, that in the end it is our experiences, family and friends that really matter.
Take care and stay strong.
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Peg Graveline
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Hi Corey,
I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Lynda during this trying time. Unfortunately, I have also had experiences with cancer— starting with my best friend 5 years ago, my mother in law 3 years ago and then my sister 2 years ago. All are well now, but life has changed…. I believe for the better. Every day is “lived” fully and not just taken for granted. “Work” is something we do, but should not ever rule our lives so much so that we miss the memories that we could be making. I am going to take your thought about the blackberry— unfortunately, I am constantly looking at it, during my daughter’s basketball games or my sons’ football games. i need to learn to BE in the moment.
Corey, once again, I want you to know that I will be thinking and praying for you and your young family.
Best,
Peg Graveline
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Peter Huston
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Corey…so sorry to hear about this as my family is going through the exact same thing. Too many people I know go through this. Only thing I can say is that you have done the right thing for the right reasons, and when your life gets back into some sort of balance, I’m sure you’ll find a way to remain productive while focusing your time on what really matters. Best of luck to you and your family.
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Thomas M Vareha Jr
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COREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your in LUCK my friend! I am a health guru for 26 years. You MUST e-mail me with a phone number and we HAVE to talk. Ever heard of Jay Kordich? He is the JUICEMAN. He had INCURABLE and INOPERABLE stomach cancer and was told by his doctors that he had only 6 months left to live. He drank a pint of carrot/apple/beet juice every hour for 13 hours. He CURED his stomach cancer!! Our stomachs ARE juicers. The stomach sucreets hydrochloric acid to break solid food down to a liquid as best as it can. This process destroys alot of the nutrients in the food. Cooking food destroys ALL the enzymes in the food which are needed to break the food down. The digestion process uses up 90% of our bodies energy which is why we get “groggy and lethargic” after breakfast and fall asleep after dinner or a big meal. HOWEVER, when we drink juice it is NOT a solid, and if you make your own juice (RAW) it is not cooked (pasteurized or homoginized) so the enzymes are NOT destroyed. It takes hours to digest solid/cooked foods HOWEVER it only takes 10 minutes to digest (pass from our stomachs into our large and small intestines) ANY pure liquid (like water) so our bodies do not have to use 90% of its energy. IT WORKS!!! I HAVE DONE IT! I lost 40 pounds WITHOUT exercising. My friend used it to cure his arthritus. He showed the book I have to his Doctor who EXCLAIMED, this is the most fascinating book/information I have ever read! Its called “Fruit & Vegetable Juices; Whats Missing in Your Body? by Dr N.W. Walker and can be bought at any health food store for $10!!!!!! Its direct and to the point and in plain English. GET IT! GET A JUICER! CALL ME at 718-829-6128 leave me a number to call you I am at work today until 8pm ESTand get home at 9pm. Juicing RAW Fruit and Vegetable juices AND removing ALL the pulp is like fuel injection! You will NOT feel hungry! It COMPLETELY nourishes your (our) bodies. Another friend of mine called me and was ASTOUNDED that he did NOT feel hungry after drinking a liquid! He usually eats big meals with plenty of meat. The reason Jay Kordich drank carrot/appl/beet juice is:
Pro Vitamin A KILLS cancer cells. HOWEVER, Pro Vitamin A, in large quantites, is TOXIC to the brain. BUT, carrots contain BETA CAROTENE which the body can store readily without being toxic and our bodies CAN convert BETA CAROTENE into (you guessed it!) PRO VITAMIN A when it needs it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our bodies need energy, Our bodies MUST HAVE ALL the B Vitamins (which collectively are called the B COMPLEX Vitamins – B1,B6,B9,B12.B17). APPLES CONTAIN THE B COMPLEX VITAMINS!
Our LIVERS process ALL TOXINS in our bodies and BEETS help the liver clean itself of these toxins. BE VERY CAEFUL as Dr N.W. Walker states in the book if you drink TOO MUCH Beet juice you can release too many toxins out of the liver and you will definetly poison yourself if you do not kill yourself from releasing too many of these toxins. So, the carrots fight the cancer, the beets help the liver and the apples gives the body energy.
IDO NOT stop doing what your Dr. says but DEFINETLY have your wife drink the juice formula that fights cancer instead of eating cooked/processed foods.The fruit blends you drink still contain the pulp which will trigger the digestion process since the pulp is a solid and NOT a liquid! Interesting isn’t it? Since I am at work I do not have the book in front of me to tell you what the cancer formuls is. Dr N.W. Walker uses pints and even breaks it down to the ounce of what juice to mix but it always comes out to a pint. My friends Arthritus was cured by drinking RAW/strained Grapefruit juice because grapefruits contains Psylosaylic Acid which breaks down the crystalized deposits in our cartiledge that makes the cartiledge dry and brittle from eating breads and fried foods. Then he had to drink Celery juice because when these deposits are released from the cartiledge they go into the blood stream and pass through other organs. The Celery juice keeps the deposits a liquid so they do not manifest into another organ in the body. Then he had to drink another juice that I cannot remember UNTIL the deposits are urinated out of the body.
I am the guy on the bi-weekly calls who used to introduce myself as “Donald Trump” – NYC” and we spoke at the MGM Grand back in March of 2009? PLEASE CALL ME FOR YOUR WIFE’S SAKE!!!
God Bless you and your family
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Kim Harrington
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Hey Corey – Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. As always, you continue to be an inspiration to your colleagues. We are here for you if there is anything you may need….keep in touch.
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Jerry
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Corey:
My heart goes out to you and Lynda. I pray that together you can beat this. I pray for a speedy journey down the road ahead of you through the tough times to the destination of full remission. Please know that even those of us who have never met you face-to-face admire, respect and appreciate you for all the ways you have helped us.
May God be with you both.
Jerry
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Georgette Prigal
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I am very sorry for your family’s challenges – cancer is a “four letter word” in my book. What you wrote was truly insightful. My family has spent time on a similar road & I know that it often feels as if you are pushing a very large boulder up a very steep mountain.
Along the way, a person much wiser than I will ever be gave us some thoughts that helped us keep going. He counseled, “find something to celebrate every day; even if its that the [fill in your expletive of choice] day is done” It may sound a bit hokey..until you try it. I am just paying it forward….do with it what works best for your family.
Healing thoughts & prayers to you all-
Georgette
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Hong Toh
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Dear Corey,
I am so sorry to hear about your wife’s condition. I know it’s a life altering event and you need to refocus your priorities. In dealing with the stress, you must also take care of your own health more so than ever. Get adequate rest and sleep.
Put the Blackberry aside. If it’s important, they’ll leave a message. That may be difficult for you as you put the needs of others before your own. Now you must devote time to Lynda and the children. My prayers are with your family.
Take care.
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Karen Morison
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Corey, There was a lump in my throat after reading Sal’s email. I know this is hard, and even scary. But then I also smiled, when you couldn’t resist continuing to teach us in your first blog post. But this is where you will reap what you have sown for so long, helping so many of us achieve the things that will bring us closer to our own spouses and children. So Cory, let the rest of us give back to you and your beautiful wife, okay?
In this situation, the best thing I can tell is something that an experienced nurse who is a friend of mine told one of her patients, who got a different type of cancer — LIVE YOUR LIFE. Don’t let the cancer define you. Your kids will teach you a lot about living. Cancer will, too. I’ve known several women who’ve gotten breast cancer — they are still kicking and way beyond 5 years. The advances in treatment have been amazing!! Find ways to keep laughter in your lives. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can gather my thoughts better!! Hold your wife and kids close every day. Keep your mind and hands busy. Let people help you; they need to do it, and you will learn so much from it. More later, my friend! — Karen
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Cathy Alesi
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Corey,
My heart is so very heavy hearing this news. I am a woman of great faith and believe in the power of prayer. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and regular prayers so that you may beat this. Cancer is not always a Death Sentence like it used to be. You have a second family here at Dandrew who love you and thank you for touching their lives. I am certain you will all be at the top of many prayer chains to help you with this battle.
Thank you for the reminders on your blog to take some time to slow down and remember what matters. Also, thank you for all you have tought us.
Sending lots of love, prayers and hugs to you and your beautiful family. Together you are all strong and will fight this battle, so you are NOT ALONE. We are all pulling for you.
Please keep us posted so that we can help you with what you may need.
xoxo
Cathy
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