A Brave New World
A brave new world…
Life is funny. Day to day we have our routines. We wake up, get dressed, have our morning coffee, (or in my case, fruit blend), take the kids to school and go about our normal day to day business. Some days are more eventful than others, but for the most part we have these “patterns” that our minds use to run on autopilot.
The reason I come to this as I write is because our routines don’t often come into question. When life is “normal” we don’t usually analyze if what we’re doing is what we really want, or what’s best for us. It’s second nature. It’s our reality and most of the time; we’re not forced to make changes because it’s just… normal. That is, unless we are forced to or have some sort of monumental life changing event happen.
I had one of those.
Mine was May 9th, 2011.That was the day my wife and mother of my two children, Lynda was diagnosed with Cancer. I’ve never been so scared for my family. Emotions run through your mind so quickly, you can’t even stop to think. So many thoughts raced through my mind: “Will she survive? How does this happen? Why me?” That was the day I re-focused and remembered what life was really about.
Life is not forever, we will all die, some of us much sooner than others. It’s something we don’t always think about. Lately, it’s definitely something I’ve been thinking about, more often than I’d like to admit.
Being reminded of it gives me the ability to focus on what really matters… And focus on having the best life I possibly can, every-single-day.
My life has changed for obvious reasons. Simplicity has come into focus. I truly believe we all need a core set of values, beliefs… call it whatever you want, but we need something to stand for…
People and experiences are what matter not possessions or status.
Before I made the decision to resign, I asked a group of friends: “Why do you go to work every day?” The most common answer was “to take care of my family.”
Now, as strange as it sounds, the folks who said it with the most conviction were the ones who worked the most. And while they definitely love their family, they also aren’t the people I would consider to have the biggest bond with each other.
It’s been said a million times: “You can’t bring it with you when you die” and while it’s true, I think the other obvious question should be…
“What memories will you leave with the people you love?”
Most of us are motivated more by doing for our family than we are for ourselves.
Some people only take care of their car when it breaks down. Your mind is your real vehicle in life and the only real limitation we have is our own beliefs. Take the time to focus on what matters and figure out how to get it… Working harder isn’t always the answer.
We all have expiration dates… They’re just not stamped on the outside of us like a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk…
Live the life you want, not the one you think you have to.
We will get through this; my wife is a strong woman and incredible mother. She has a hell of a road in front her. We are fortunate to be able to put things in perspective; I’ve had my “life changing moment”. Obviously I wish it didn’t happen the way it did, but I’m definitely happy to have this opportunity to enjoy what life is really about and analyze how I really spend my time.
I was forced to turn off the auto-pilot of my life and center myself on the things that really mattered in my life. I began to focus on the little things again. The “pebbles” in life that once fascinated us as toddlers, but now as adults, we don’t even notice. If I was asked to share with you a bit of the positive that’s come out of this life changing event in my family’s life, I think these are probably the simplest, yet most impactful things I’ve done to change my day to day zombie mode:
- Reconnect with old friends
I’ve spoken to three people just this week that I haven’t talked to in almost a year. It was amazing how great I felt after I hung up. I even wondered “Why did I wait so long to call?” and then “If there was one thing I could to help them, what would it be?”
2. Not letting the Blackberry dictate your life 24/7
This is a tough one to overcome, especially if you’re a blackberry addict, however incredibly liberating and believe it or not, once you kick the habit you’ll actually be much more productive. Ask yourself how many times you’ve been in the middle of doing something meaningful and you stopped what you were doing to read an email and respond to it; a response that most likely could have waited. Technology was intended to make our lives simpler, yet most people have become a slave to it. If you’re someone who reaches for their phone every time it goes off… realize that you’re operating in “reactive” mode.
3. Analyze your “24”
This one was a big one for me. There is one thing in this world that we all have an equal amount of, no matter how rich or how poor we are. Take 10 minutes today away from all distractions and write these down:
- How many hours a day do you work?
- How many hours are you away from home (at the gym, shopping, etc)
- How much TV do you watch?
- How much do you sleep?
- How much uninterrupted time do you spend with your loved ones?
Now ask yourself “Are you happy with your numbers?” If the answer is “NO” don’t feel alone, but remember no matter what your situation is, you can take the steps needed to change it. If I’ve learned one thing in the last 2 and ½ years, it’s that you don’t need to work 60 hours a week to have everything you want and to provide for your family… The world is a much different place than it was 30 years ago.
Work smart not hard. There are so many things in this world we can’t control, so don’t let them stress you out. What we can control is our own “24.” What changes can you make to yours?
